2/28/09: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)

DISNEY WEEK
Disney week (and my vacation) came to a close with this unshaggy-dog story. One of my main theories about going to the movies is that even a mediocre film can seem good if your expectations were low enough going in. In the case of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, my expectations were nonexistent, so it had more than a fighting chance. To my surprise and delight, I found BHC to be more than merely watchable; it's actually a great deal of fun. Aimed squarely at kids, it won't insult the intelligence of Mom and Dad. This is the second time I've seen Drew Barrymore voice a canine character (remember Olive the Other Reindeer?), and she brings Chloe to life with help from the CGI wizards. The other dogs get their voices courtesy of George Lopez, Edward James Olmos and Andy Garcia, while Cheech Marin and Paul Rodriguez have a lot of fun as a rat and an iguana, respectively. None of the humans are quite as winning as the animals, but this search-and-rescue story—the billionth of its kind from Disney—somehow gels very nicely. It's cute and consistently funny. No doubt it helped to have zero expectations, but I found myself loving virtually every second of this. Viewed on board the Disney Wonder ship, in the Buena Vista Theater—the perfect place to see a Disney film. Rating: 5/5.

2/27/09: A Tiger Walks (1964)

DISNEY WEEK
Quick—which early-1960s Disney movie features American actor Brian Keith as a concerned father of a teenaged girl portrayed by a British actress? Most people would probably answer, "The Parent Trap." But this 1964 drama also qualifies. Well, Pamela Franklin tries hard to sound like an American—a lot harder than Hayley Mills did, at any rate. Keith is a small-town sheriff who's in a bit of a pickle after a Bengal tiger escapes from a truck of a traveling circus. He finds himself torn between the townsfolks' desire to kill the beast, and his animal-loving daughter's insistence that it be captured alive; it all becomes a troublesome political issue, but anybody over the age of 12 won't have any problem predicting the happy ending. A Tiger Walks is a family picture that's dated and dull, with some sloppy and wince-inducing editing and precious little suspense. Keith tries, playing the same stern, put-upon character he always does—he might as well be Uncle Bill from A Family Affair, or Mitch Evers from The Parent Trap. Rating: 2/5.

2/26/09: The Reluctant Dragon (1941)

DISNEY WEEK
Most Disney features fall into two categories: cartoon and live-action. But a scant few are hybrids, including some in which real people intermingle with animated characters (Mary Poppins, Pete's Dragon) and some that feature both separately (Song of the South). Made after Disney's enormous initial success with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Pinocchio—but predating Bambi—The Reluctant Dragon was Walt's first foray into the "hybrid" category, with separate animated and live-action segments.

The film begins like an ordinary black-and-white comedy, with real-life humorist Robert Benchley being henpecked by his wife to bring Disney the idea to make a cartoon out of Kenneth Grahame's famous children's book about a timid dragon. The reluctant Benchley goes to the Disney studios and ends up getting a tour of the facility (camera department, sound-effects room, color lab, etc.). Evidently, the movie was a response to the many fans who wanted to know more about how these animated pictures were done. Twenty minutes in, the movie suddenly drops the monochrome, a la The Wizard of Oz, and we are treated to some Technicolor cartoons, including a Goofy short and the 20-minute title segment, which are typically Disney delights. (The Benchley studio tour also changes to color as well—he looks better in B&W.) There's a great deal of self-deprecating humor from Benchley in the live-action segments, and the great Walt himself makes a brief appearance, as do Bambi, Casey Jr., Donald Duck, etc.

The most interesting thing about this 68-year-old film is how obscure it has become—few people outside of diehard Disney buffs even know about it, and even some Disney fans are likely clueless to its existence. Why is this? Well, probably because it's a mildly entertaining curio, paling in comparison to the studio's wonderful full-length cartoons of the day. (The film lost $200K of its $600K production costs.) While Dragon deepened my appreciation for all the massively hard work and imagination that goes into animating—the sketching, painting of cells, etc.—it was already deep to begin with. Presumably filmgoers were more interested in being spellbound by the magic of movies than by seeing how the magic is created. In its later showings on TV, the network dropped the live-action segments and just showed the cartoons. Rating: 3/5.

2/25/09: The Three Lives of Thomasina (1964)

DISNEY WEEK
A relentlessly charming pussy-cat movie, The Three Lives of Thomasina tugs at the heart while pulling out all of the familiar Disney themes and scenarios. Like Aunt Polly from 1960's Pollyanna, Andrew McDhui (Patrick McGoohan) is basically a good person whose heart has gone a bit cold—and it's going to take the near-tragedy of a young relative to restore his humanity. McDhui is a Scottish veterinarian whose main specialty seems to be euthanasia, which doesn't bode well for his cat-loving daughter Mary (Karen Dotrice) or her cat. Both Mary and her beloved feline, Thomasina, will be knocking on death's door in this fanciful tale concocted by Paul Gallico (famous for The Poseidon Adventure). But this is Walt Disney territory, where every Sleeping Beauty and Snow White eventually come back to life again—it's right there in the title, for heaven's sake. It's a winning, family-friendly heartwarmer that has lost none of its ability to put a lump in the throat nearly half a century after its release. The adorable Susan Hampshire helps give McGoohan a second chance at romance. This is one to show to my nieces. Rating: 5/5.

2/24/09: Bolt (2008)

DISNEY WEEK
Disney cartoons account for some of the best movies I've ever seen (Toy Story, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast) and some of the very worst (Atlantis: The Lost Empire). Given that I've been unimpressed with some of the studio's recent CGI offerings, including Meet the Robinsons and Chicken Little, I didn't have a lot of interest or hope for Bolt. The trailer left me unimpressed, and the involvement of John Travolta didn't help. But since Disney was showing it in 3D for free on the Wonder cruise ship, I was happy to attend.

My low expectations went a long way to helping me appreciate how inventive, enjoyable and funny this movie is. At its very core, Bolt cribs heavily from Toy Story: in that film, the superhero Buzz Lightyear must be convinced that he doesn't really have superpowers and that the nature of his entire existence is a lie, just as superhero Bolt must be convinced that he doesn't really possess superpowers and that the nature of his entire existence is a lie. Also in TS, a group of the beloved characters must find their way home to their owner, Andy, against all odds—just as Bolt must find his way home to his owner, Penny, against all odds. Notice any parallels?

Despite the derivative nature of Bolt, it's still a fun ride, bursting with charm and full of great lines and characters. The movie is all but stolen by a fat hamster named Rhino who scurries around in a plastic ball. Susie Essman does a great job voicing the alley cat Mittens, and Greg Germann is hilarious as The Agent. In addition, there are a trio of pigeons that are deftly animated, and teen megastar Miley Cyrus is on hand as Penny. My faith in Disney CGI has at least been temporarily restored—and expectations are through the roof with the Randy Newman-scored The Princess and the Frog, due this Christmas. Rating: 5/5.

2/23/09: High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

DISNEY WEEK
The HSM franchise snares its first theatrical release with its second sequel, and my prediction proved true—Disney presented HSM3 on its big screen in the Buena Vista Theater on the Wonder cruise.

Now seniors, the Wildcats of East High are pretty much grownups by this entry, and trying to figure out what comes after graduation. Main protagonists Troy and Gabriella—the young lovers who have barely even kissed—must deal with the grim prospect of going their separate ways when college whisks them away; there's also the requisite school musical to be staged, with the usual interference from Sharpay (with assistance from a hot new British exchange student). The second HSM sequel is nicely constructed and perfectly enjoyable, yet somewhat more forgettable than its predecessor. The best moments are the song-and-dance numbers, including Sharpay's "I Want it All" and the Troy/Gabriella duet "Can I Have This Dance?" And the look on Shar's face near the end, when she realizes she's been living the plot of All About Eve, is priceless. Rating: 4/5.

2/22/09: High School Musical 2 (2007)

DISNEY WEEK
The first day of my vacation—commencing with a visit to Walt Disney World and continuing with a four-night cruise on Disney's Wonder ship—is also the beginning of an extended week of Disney movies.

I was aware of the High School Musical phenomenon for quite a while before I even knew exactly what it was. I wasn't sure if it was a live show, a movie, a TV series or some weird hybrid, and I can't say I much cared. But last year, I sat down with my young nieces and watched the 2006 Disney Channel TV movie that started it all, and to my surprise, I found it to be a very entertaining movie musical (it has since spawned a stage version), full of teen-pop songs, comedy and a cast of characters that felt strangely familiar to me. At some point during the movie, it dawned on me why. What if Archie, from the old comic books, had preferred sweet, unassuming Betty instead of rich, scheming Veronica? Now make Betty the brunette and Veronica blond, and you've got High School Musical. Both sets of kids sing pop songs, there are buffoonish teachers, concerned parents, assorted friends and every teenager cliche imaginable—the only appreciable difference is that High School Musical is marginally more cartoonish than Archie.

Having said that, the first HSM was surprisingly engaging (what can I say? I always loved Archie), so I knew I had to check out the sequels. I was reasonably certain that HSM3 would be screened on the Disney cruise, so I brought along HSM2 with the intention of watching them all in the proper order. I'm nothing if not a strictly linear fellow.

Thinking back on all of the classic female villains introduced by Disney over the years—Cruella De Vil, Cinderella's and Snow White's wicked Stepmothers, Ursula the Sea Witch, et al.—it's tempting to put Sharpay Evans (Ashley Tisdale) at the top of my list of favorites. A spoiled senior so egocentric that she has her own logo, Sharpay is the ultimate comic narcissist; she's the star of every talent show and school musical, and everybody loves her—or risks being an outcast. Sharpay has eyes for the popular jock Troy (Zac Efron), who in turn has eyes for pretty brunette Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens). This first HSM sequel opens as the clock ticks down on their final seconds as high-school juniors, and I've rarely seen an opening number of a musical more full of energy and enthusiasm than "What Time Is It?," the film's first song and one of the most delightful rejoicings of summer that I've ever heard. It's a joyous, exuberant showstopper that stops the show barely after it starts. I was charmed from the start, and the spell cast by HSM2 lasted all 104 minutes. The plot has to do with the kids all getting summer jobs at ultra-rich Sharpay's country club, and although I swear I saw the exact same thing on Saved by the Bell 20 years ago, I didn't much mind. For a movie aimed squarely at kids, I was amazed by how the writers deftly crafted half a dozen morality plays into the story—this is a film about trusting your instincts, treasuring longtime friendships, the importance of brotherhood and responsibility, the pain of breaking up, the dangers of selling out, the corruptibility of absolute power and the possibility of redemption. (No, I'm not kidding.) It doesn't hurt that all the teens are talented and extremely good-looking, and that the 10 or so songs are all very tuneful and performed flawlessly.

There's an almost science-fiction element hidden in here: Ryan, a flamboyant choreographer who wears pink shirts and a pretty pink hat, is heterosexual (!), never ostracized by his fellow classmates and, most significantly, not strung up by his balls, dragged from the back of a truck or even picked on once. I don't care if he's Sharpay's twin brother—high-school kids aren't this tolerant. But then, nothing about HSM is particularly true to reality. Didn't bother me; this is a sequel that surpasses the original, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't gone back and watched the movie again since my cruise. Rating: 5/5.

2/21/09: Taken (2009)

GRAB BAG
There have been numerous movies and TV shows through the years involving the abduction of children. When I saw the trailer for Taken, I was reminded of some of the famous ones, like Mel Gibson's Ransom, which featured the immortal line, "Give me back my son!" Coincidentally, Taken is also the title of thriller I read last year (the first in a series of Chris Jordan novels that all deal with child snatchings). I like revenge stories, so I had a hunch I'd like this movie, starring the Irish actor Liam Neeson as a former U.S. operative whose 17-year-old daughter Kim (fomer Lostie Maggie Grace, 24 at the time of filming) is seized during a visit to Paris. The Albanian abductors picked the wrong guy's daughter to steal: Neeson is a superb tracker, and in short order he's walking off a plane and gathering clues. Once the bad guys show up, Taken becomes a relentlessly suspenseful and action-packed yarn that keeps you permanently on the edge of your seat. Neeson fits the role (if not the American accent) very well, although some—like my movie companion, Joan—will wonder if Daddy causes a bit too much harm to innocent people who get in the way while he pursues his daughter. But that's a minor quibble; just sit back and cheer as Neeson dispatches the Mafia creeps, one by one. Rating: 5/5.

2/20/09: The Hustler (1961)

GRAB BAG
The Hustler is one of those seminal films that somehow slipped past me. Well, given my allergy to heavy noir, which tends to bore me, it's no surprise that the sluggish first third of this 134-minute film was so hard to get through. It's the famous story of "Fast Eddie" Felson (Paul Newman), a pool hustler who goes up against the greatest shark of all time, Minnesota Fats (Jackie Gleason). There's also kind of a love story involving Piper Laurie, although it's one of those alcoholic, lost-soul romances that always end badly. George C. Scott, Murray Hamilton and Vincent Gardenia are familiar faces that keep the story going. Normally, I'm very interested in stories about confidence games—of which hustling is a variation—I was enormously tempted to quit this one 45 minutes in. But I stuck with it, and I was glad I did. Eventually it becomes an involving tale with themes of shame and redemption. Gleason is magnificent, and by the end, I was eager to check out the movie's sequel, The Color of Money. Rating: 4/5.

2/19/09: Forever Young, Forever Free (1976)

GRAB BAG
With my Disney vacation fast approaching—and a week's worth of Disney films on my schedule for this blog—I picked out this (non-Disney) G-rated movie to get me in the mood for family entertainment. This was exactly the kind of squeaky-clean stuff I would have seen in the '70s; in fact, it has precisely the same outdoorsy flavor of the similarly titled Challenge to Be Free, a movie I'd massively enjoyed from the previous year. So I can't quite explain how I not only missed this one in the theaters, but in fact had never even heard of it before this year. I came across it while searching IMDB for Karen Valentine—one of my first TV crushes, from Room 222—and the recollections from numerous viewers who had enjoyed it as children convinced me to order a copy. It's the story of two young boys in South Africa who bond despite their racial differences, and how a scary accident changes their lives, but not their friendship. The idea is a nice one, but it's so painfully produced on a shoestring that it almost demands to be viewed as a child, when you're young enough to forgive elements like a nonexistent budget and a flimsy script. Rating: 2/5.

2/18/09: Gun Crazy (1950)

GRAB BAG
My recent viewing of the excellent 1953 British comedy Always a Bride inspired not only a week's worth of black-and-white viewings, but my purchase of several other DVDs starring the lovely Peggy Cummins. This American flick, made a few years earlier, preceded Bonnie and Clyde by 17 years, and though it lacks the style, budget, quality and punch of the Arthur Penn film, it's a very similar story. And I frankly preferred it. A star-crossed young couple (Cummins and John Dall) fall in love, rob banks, develop a taste for killing, go on the lam and ultimately get what's coming to them. An extremely enjoyable study of homicidal lovers getting sucked into the dark side, and the people who get hurt along the way. Alternately known as Deadly Is the Female. Rating: 4/5.

2/17/09: The Big Lebowski (1998)

GRAB BAG
A beautiful Three Stooges comedy about bowling, ransom, Judaism, marijuana and a urine-stained carpet. Given how much I've always loved Fargo, it's amazing that I've never seen the Coen Brothers' cult-favorite follow-up to their 1996 crime caper. Better late than never. Jeff Bridges is a delight as The Dude, an unemployed stoner who gets himself entangled in a kidnapping story with a mistaken-identity twist, with gun-toting sidekick John Goodman along to add zaniness to an already lunatic plot. This is vintage Coen, a comedy with a dangerous and uncomfortable edge; like their best work, it's utterly littered with oddball characters—Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tara Reid, John Turturro, Sam Elliott, Julianne Moore and the always engaging David Huddleston—that give the story its unique flavor. Alternately lyrical and surreal, Lebowski is a film I'll be very curious to watch a second time, to try to fit some of the random pieces together (such as the running joke about the Eagles and the hilariously goofball dream sequences). Rating: 5/5.

2/16/09: Child's Play (1972)

GRAB BAG
The great Robert Preston (most famous for The Music Man) is someone I love to watch, even when the material he's in doesn't quite rise to his level. In Child's Play, he plays a beloved English teacher at a Catholic school for boys, and makes an excellent foil to the older and much-feared Latin teacher, James Mason. Beau Bridges plays a young phys-ed instructor who becomes caught up in their feuding—and by the creepy, almost homicidal behavior of their teenage students, which may have some connection.

Based on a play by Burnt Offerings author Robert Marasco, the film was particularly interesting to me because of its lack of availability—unreleased on video and rarely (if ever) shown on TV, it was recently offered as digital download via Amazon's On Demand. Sadly, the mystique of the movie slowly evaporated as I watched. It's a pretty slow-moving and dull picture that tries to be menacing and fails. Mason and Preston are typically excellent, however. It's just a shame they got caught in this muddled, quasi-Satanic flick about the dangers of putting your trust in the wrong people. This was a misstep for famed director Sidney Lumet, whose previous films included The Pawnbroker and Fail-Safe (both of which are on my to-view list) and who would go on to make Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon and Network...as well as the godawful The Wiz. Rating: 2/5.

2/15/09: He's Just Not That Into You (2009)

GRAB BAG
It's the start of another grab-bag week. Today's selection is the first-run hit He's Just Not That Into You—a title I have despised since the original publication of the self-help book that inspired the movie. Because I am all-too-easily dragged by friends to see practically any film in a theater, I allowed myself to be dragged to this one by my friend Leticia. My expectations for this were somewhat low, and I managed to enjoy it despite its painful predictability—first and foremost because two of its female stars are excruciatingly attractive. On the cute end is Ginnifer Goodwin (paired with Justin Long, her co-star on TV's Ed); on the smoldering end is Scarlett Johansson, who oozes more sexuality with each successive movie. Goodwin plays a girl few men ask out for a second date; in fact, she spends the greater part of the picture waiting for her phone to ring—an almost science-fiction conceit, as she is so cute and charming that by all rights, she should be fighting them off with a tire iron. The trajectory of her story, like all others in the film, is telegraphed so obviously that a blind deaf-mute could see it coming. The rest of the movie concerns the other dating/relationship travails experienced by a cast of magazine cover-worthy performers: Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck spar over his refusal to marry her; Drew Barrymore wrestles with the online dating scene; Bradley Cooper finds himself attracted to Johansson while married to fussy Jennifer Connelly. He's Just Not That Into You is basically an extended version of its own trailer, which I had seen about sixty times already, but it was all acceptably entertaining and worth the longer look to see all of the beautiful performers and their perfect jeans-covered butts. Rating: 3/5.

2/14/09: The Miracle of Morgan's Creek (1944)

MONOCHROME WEEK
Monochrome Week comes to a close with this wartime comedy, written and directed by Preston Sturges. It was touted as one of the 50 greatest comedies by Premiere Magazine, nominated for an Oscar, and such a monster hit when it was released that many showings were standing room only. But my main interest in seeing the film had nothing to do with all that—I happened to see lovely Diana Lynn in a scene while flipping on Turner Classic Movies a few weeks ago...va-va-voom! Luckily, TCM aired it again last week, so I managed to TiVo it and indulge in some Lynn-sanity.

Betty Hutton stars as a small-town girl who attends a going-away party for local soldiers and wakes up the next day to find herself married and pregnant. Problem is, she has no idea who the daddy is. Will she marry her drip of a boyfriend (Eddie Bracken) and risk committing bigamy, or bring shame to her loving sister (Diana Lynn) and bellowing father (William Demarest, who played Uncle Charley on TV's My Three Sons)? Some of the themes were fairly racy for 1944, but it's all done as kind of a slapsticky screwball comedy—there's no pratfall too ludicrous and no comic invention too overblown. The result is still funny today, although terribly over the top at times, at least for my taste. The best moments belong to smart-alecky Lynn, who makes a superb foil for blustery papa Demarest. (In the movie's single greatest line, he admonishes her: "Someday they're just gonna find your hair ribbon and an axe someplace. Nothing else! The Mystery of Morgan's Creek!") Lynn, who was 18 at the time but playing a 14-year-old, was the high point; on the debit side, I was not particularly charmed by Hutton, whom I find somewhat unattractive in a Lucille Ball kind of way, nor by Bracken, whose stuttering shtick grows tiresome in a hurry.

Note: The picture involves the birth of sextuplets, which is treated like a big deal, which it would have been in the mid-1940s. But definitely not today, with the birth of the famous California octuplets only a couple of weeks ago. Rating: 3/5.

2/13/09: Mirage (1965)

MONOCHROME WEEK
Gregory Peck has quite a quandary: He can't remember much about his past from before two years ago—and also, people keep trying to shoot him. The suspense novel Fallen Angel by Howard Fast (author of Spartacus) is the basis of this nail-biter; it's one of those movies with a lot of baffling occurrences, but all of the pieces finally start to fit by the movie's conclusion. Director Edward Dmytryk does a serviceable job, but one can't help lamenting the absence of Hitchcock, who would undoubtedly have turned this into something even better. Intriguing and suspenseful, but could (and should) have been a classic. Walter Matthau, Jack Weston and Kevin McCarthy all contribute memorably. Rating: 4/5.

2/12/09: Ladybug Ladybug (1963)

MONOCHROME WEEK
I bought this DVD because it features one of my favorite actors, William Daniels (he played John Adams in 1776). The idea sounds intriguing: teachers and students at a school react to the news that a nuclear bomb may be imminent. Cold War jitters culminate in a bomb shelter, where a group of nervous young students have sequestered themselves. It's not quite Lord of the Flies, but the story did remind me of the Twilight Zone episode "The Shelter," with the identical scenario, from two years earlier. The movie would undoubtedly have been more effective half a century ago; viewers who write about having seen the film as a child speak of how horrifying it was. I found it reasonably watchable but far from truly terrifying (although there is a troubling scene near the end where a girl hides in an abandoned refrigerator she'll clearly never escape from). The ending is weirdly abrupt and ambiguous, and William Daniels' role amounts to precious little. An interesting curio. Rating: 3/5.

2/11/09: The Incident (1967)

MONOCHROME WEEK
I tend not to have guilty pleasures, as I lack the shamefulness it requires. But The Incident is as close as a movie can get. Two sadistic punks (Tony Musante and Martin Sheen, in their big-screen debuts) enter a subway car and proceed to terrorize everybody on board. Those commuters include a bunch of obvious archetypes—upper-class couple, old couple, black couple, child, young lovers, military men, passed-out drunk. One by one, the antagonists intimidate and molest their prey, and the viewer waits for somebody to do something. Annoyingly, the bravest remark any of the passengers can muster is some variation of "Why don't you just leave him alone?" The punks are clearly sociopathic—Musante and Sheen make them deliciously evil—and we wait patiently for tensions to boil over. The Incident isn't trashy, exactly, but it's provocative for its own sake, the same way Dirty Harry would be scarcely four years later. Donna Mills is pretty as the Pretty Girl; other familar faces on board the subway car—which seems to travel about 20 miles in between stops—include Ruby Dee, Beau Bridges, Jack Gilford and Ed McMahon (hey-ohhh!). It is one of the most perplexing of my movie quirks that I can't seem to get enough of dirty rotten punks. Rating: 4/5.

2/10/09: Laura (1944)

MONOCHROME WEEK
I am forever grateful that I wasn't already privvy to the startling twist that comes about halfway through director Otto Preminger's much-beloved mystery, Laura. I'm not normally a noir enthusiast, but this famous film (based on Vera Caspary's novel) may just convert me. Dana Andrews is a cop investigating the murder of the title character (Gene Tierney), with her former lovers (Clifton Webb and Vincent Price) topping the suspect list. As Andrews probes the life of the dead girl, he starts to fall in love with her memory. It's a terrific setup with some great surprises to follow. Only debit: the haunting theme song, while excellent, is played rather incessantly. Preminger and Webb were nominated for Oscars. Rating: 5/5.

2/9/09: Mr. Belvedere Rings the Bell (1951)

MONOCHROME WEEK
The day after my pal Jay Steele and I saw Sitting Pretty at a vintage movie house, we sat at his house and watched one of its sequels on DVD. We were prepared for disappointment, as I had brought him up to speed with the curious lineage of Mr. Belvedere Rings the Bell: it's based on a play called The Silver Whistle, which has nothing whatsoever to do with Belvedere—the filmmakers simply wrote him into the existing plot. The result is not, as one critic observed, a bad movie; it's just not a very good Mr. Belvedere movie. That's a real shame, because in retrofitting Clifton Webb's great character to this story, something got lost. The genius of Belvedere is that he's the ultimate narcissist, but in this sappy sequel, he suddenly and inexplicably decides to devote his life to helping the residents of an old-age home. And everybody knows that Mr. Belvedere doesn't actually care about people. It was nice to see Clifton Webb onscreen and making the occasional smartass observation, and it's always a delight to watch Zero Mostel, who has a small role here. But there's little doubt why this proved to be the last Belvedere movie. Rating: 2/5.

2/8/09: Sitting Pretty (1948)

MONOCHROME WEEK
Inspired by last week's viewing of the excellent Always a Bride, we hereby commence Monochrome Week—a seven-day run of movies in beautiful black and white. First up is a charming comedy directed by Walter Lang, who would later go on to team Marilyn Monroe and Ethel Merman in There's No Business Like Show Business. Featuring Clifton Webb as Mr. Belvedere—a character that would later spawn two movie sequels and two TV series—Sitting Pretty is sitcomy but delightful fluff about a couple (Robert Young and Maureen O'Hara) who hire a nanny for their three unruly brats; they think they're getting Mary Poppins, but an older gentleman with the feminine name of Lynn Belvedere answers their newspaper ad. And what a character he is, professing to despise children and making numerous acerbic snappy retorts (they're the best thing in the picture). Belvedere is the perfect man to tame the kids, but the inevitable conflicts eventually do arise, with hilarious results. Webb is quintessentially perfect in what turns out to be the ultimate babysitter flick. I never wanted it to end. Rating: 5/5.

2/7/09: The Chalk Garden (1964)

GRAB BAG
By all rights, I should have saved up my accumulated Hayley Mills movies and made a special theme week of them. But I'd already used up one of them (Endless Night) for George Sanders Week, and I could no longer stave off my growing curiosity to watch this adaptation of Enid Bagnold's 1955 play. Made nearly a decade later, the film version follows Hayley's earliest family films produced by Disney (Pollyanna, The Parent Trap, Summer Magic) and could be considered her first real film specifically for adults—she was 18 by the time this film was released.

It's incredible to think I was already a big Hayley Mills fan without having seen this masterpiece. Touching, insightful and relevatory, it tells the story of Laurel, a troubled teen with major mommy issues (Mills); her grandmother (Edith Evans), who has family issues of her own; and the mysterious caretaker who has been brought in to tame the girl (Deborah Kerr). There are skeletons hidden in closets and buried emotions that rise to the surface as Bagnold's intriguing tale unfolds—I was drawn in from the get-go, riveted throughout, and frankly lucky to have a handkerchief in reach by the final scene. The entire cast performs flawlessly; Evans was nominated for an Oscar, and Hayley is mesmerizing. Rating: 5/5.

2/6/09: The Wrong Box (1966)

GRAB BAG
It is difficult to think of another movie with a more promising cast: John Mills, Michael Caine, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Peter Sellers and Ralph Richardson, all starring in a demented British comedy. Based on a novel co-written by Robert Louis Stevenson, The Wrong Box is silly without being truly funny and well-executed without being particularly interesting. The plot has to do with an inheritance and the scheming men who want to get their paws on it; along the way there are dead bodies, crazy mixups, and a very sexy but repressed lass played by Nanette Newman—and she was the only thing in this romp that commanded my full attention throughout. I'm not sure what went wrong, because I was prepared to love this film and walked away profoundly disappointed. Rating: 2/5.

2/5/09: The Little Prince (1974)

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I'm a loyal fan of certain actors. Once I find one I really like, I'll make an effort to track down other films they've done, or I'll make a point to see their newest works. And I'll go that extra mile for performers like Dustin Hoffman, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Hayley Mills, George Sanders and a few others. They've got the magic required to make even a lackluster movie a bit brighter.

Even in his worst films, Gene Wilder can make me smile, and especially in his older offerings, I just love the way he looks. Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Silver Streak—this was Wilder at his wildest. Beginning in the late '70s, he started churning out a lot of drivel, and I subsequently lost interest in him. So I turned my attention to digging out whatever early '70s Wilder I could find. The Little Prince, a big-screen Lerner and Lowe musical version of the beloved Antoine de Saint-Exupéry children's book, showed promise, as it was produced right in the middle of his Golden Period. I was unfamiliar with the source material, but attracted to the pedigree—how do you go wrong with the composers of "My Fair Lady" and the star of Willy Wonka? Answer: by making this 88-minute pile of excrement. It's about as ill-conceived and impossible to watch as any movie I've ever seen; although a couple of the songs were passably tuneful, it's a crime that they were written for this deservedly forgotten bore. Wilder's part—basically a cameo appearance—is one of the only bright spots. It was also interesting to actually see Bob Fosse act in a movie; I'd only seen a representation of him portrayed by Roy Scheider in All That Jazz. (I gather Little Prince is one of Fosse's only on-camera movie roles.) Finally, special mention must be made of Steven Warner, the 8-year-old moppet who plays the Little Prince; his adorableness is off the charts. Sadly, though, the film itself is devoid of charm and should be avoided at all costs. Rating: 1/5.

2/4/09: Trail of the Screaming Forehead (2007)

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Several years ago, I caught an indie sci-fi spoof called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, a loving sendup of schlocky Ed Wood-type movies. Made on the cheap, it contained no shortage of laughs, and it has become one of my favorite (virtually) unknown comedies.

Now the same team has reassembled for another low-budget satire, including writer-director Larry Blamire and practically all of the original cast. Completed in 2007, Screaming Forehead has still never been officially released to theaters, but as of this writing it is available via cable TV's "On Demand." This picture is sort of a cross between Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Blob, featuring a bevy of foreheads from outer space that attach themselves to the real foreheads of humans and turn their hosts into zombies. Although not quite as consistently amusing as Skeleton, it does have a lot of the same goofily stilted dialogue, like when boarding-house owner Sarah deals with a customer:

Sarah: It just so happens we have two rooms, and you can have them both each. You're just in time for lunch, and you can have that both each, too.

Big Dan: If you're asking us that as nicely as I think you just did, things that would be better than that have no appeal to us, little lady.

The plot is absurd nonsense (much of it takes place at The Institute for Brain Studying); this is the kind of movie where you just laugh at the intentionally bad writing and intentionally dated Ray Harryhausen special effects. The movie dragged a bit in the middle section, but I'm sure happy these guys are making movies. Cast standouts are Brian Howe, Fay Masterson and Andrew Parks. The talented filmmakers reportedly have a couple more films in the cooker, and if they're making them as nicely as I think they made Forehead, things that would be better than that have no appeal to me, little lady. Rating: 4/5.

2/3/09: Always a Bride (1953)

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No matter how hard I try, I can't escape the Big Lie movie. It's everywhere—versions of the Big Lie story probably date back to the Stone Age. You know the shopworn tale: a couple of lovebirds enter into their romance that is advanced on the basis of a fib told by one to the other. At length, the lie is discovered, which naturally leads to complications, but only as far as the inevitable happy ending. Taking into account subtle variations such as gender reversal, I just described the plot of Bells Are Ringing, Pillow Talk, The Music Man, The Graduate, Tootsie, Just One of the Guys, Coming to America, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, While You Were Sleeping, About a Boy, There’s Something About Mary, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and The Wedding Crashers; the list keeps growing with each passing year. And those are just the ones I've seen—not counting the innumerable times the story has been regurgitated for television. You'd think that audiences would get tired of the Big Lie story, but apparently I'm the only one.

Burned out as I am of this plot, occasionally I see an entertaining version of it, and Always a Bride combines the Big Lie with a confidence-trickster theme, which I usually love. I was very keen to see this 1953 British comedy at a "vintage" movie theater several months ago, but the timing unfortunately didn't work out. Although it's not officially released on DVD, I finagled a copy from somebody online, and it arrived in the mail a couple of weeks ago. So it made its way to the top of the list.

Beautiful Clare Hemsley (Peggy Cummins) and her dear old father Victor (Ronald Squire) have a great scam going. They check into a fancy hotel posing as newlyweds, then hubby "skips town," leaving a sobbing bride "destitute." She collects big from sympathetic rich hotel patrons who want to help her. But Clare didn't count on falling for an honest and handsome fellow (Terence Morgan), who's staying at the same French hotel. Consistently amusing and occasionally hilarious, Always a Bride is sort of a nonmusical Music Man (another movie where the Big Lie gets in the way of the Big Con). It's a very likable, well-constructed confection, and Peggy Cummins is drop-dead gorgeous in it. I wish more people knew about this movie. In black and white. Rating 5/5.

2/2/09: A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

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So taken was I by yesterday's viewing of The Uninvited that I had to check out the original Korean film it's based on: Janghwa, Hongryeon (literally Rose Flower, Red Lotus), or A Tale of Two Sisters, as it is known in the U.S. I was surprised to find that it's appreciably different from the remake; I had expected the American version to be a carbon copy of the original. They do share a number of common elements: there's a dad, a stepmother and two troubled sisters, and there are some ghostly apparitions and a surprise ending. Other than the basic setup, though, the differences seemed to outweigh the commonalities—not only in the plotting, but also the pacing. Two Sisters moves much more slowly; it's far more cerebral and embraces its numerous ambiguities (even by the end, it's not exactly clear what has transpired), whereas the no-nonsense American version never dawdles and is totally unambiguous. Still, both tellings of the tale could only benefit from a repeat viewing. Su-jeong Lim (as sister Soo-mi) and Jung-ah Yum (as stepmother Eun-joo) give excellent performances, and both are very, ahem, easy on the eyes. Rating: 3/5.

2/1/09: The Univited (2009)

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My second official 2009 screening is the latest Hollywood remake of an Asian horror movie, like its predecessors The Ring and The Grudge. It would be spoiling the fun to name the movie this particular thriller reminds me of, but I will say that The Uninvited is quite an effective shocker, with plenty of "jump" scenes and the delectable Elizabeth Banks, who alone is worth the price of admission (here playing a version of the wicked-stepmother character). I admired the way the film was plotted from start to finish, and even if I sort of anticipated its main twist, The Uninvited still kept me guessing most of the way through.

Based on a Korean movie called Janghwa, Hongryeon (known here as A Tale of Two Sisters), this remake is a clever, stylish and scary horror flick that almost demands more than one viewing, and by the time the credits roll, you'll know why. Rating: 5/5.

1/31/09: Trouble the Water (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
"This is the Lord's work," observes Kimberly Rivers Roberts from the attic of her New Orleans home as she watches it being flooded in the middle of Hurricane Katrina. It is one of the many dozens of times she, or one of the locals she points her camcorder at, evokes the name of God. "He's mad at New Orleans, and I don't blame him," she declares.

Trouble the Water, nominated for an Academy Award for Best Documentary (and the final movie in my Oscar Nods week), is a fascinating record of the storm's devastation in late August 2005. Presented in nonlinear fashion, we see aspiring rap star Kimberly's home video footage of her neighborhood before, during and after the levees broke; we get interviews with her friends, husband and other family members as they talk about their ravaged homes and lives. The first third of the movie consists largely of Kimberly's extremely shaky camera work during all phases of the storm; more than once, it brought to mind last year's hit Cloverfield, another kind of disaster movie filmed with an unsteady hand. But where you only occasionally saw the monster in that picture, in Trouble the Water, the monster is everywhere, all the time. It's one of the film's best touches that the victims making the documentary never really lose their sense of humor—even when they're at death's door, they try to keep smiling. Though it does occasionally drag during the final third (chronicling Katrina's aftermath), Trouble the Water shows us the horror and humanity of a city unforgivably ignored by the government. One well-placed scene of George Bush promising that help is on the way drew boos and hisses from audience members, who have just seen the horrifying footage of residents in danger. And I won't soon forget hearing the desperate call to a 911 operator by a man pleading for help for his young children, and his being told that help will not be coming.

On the downside, the innumerable references to God and faith by the film's "cast" hindered my enjoyment of the film. That these people can continue to believe in anything after the horrors wreaked upon them is not inspirational, it's just maddening. Rating: 3/5.

1/30/09: Kung Fu Panda (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
Nominated for Best Animated Film of 2008, Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda may not have all of the grandeur and longevity of Disney's WALL-E (the frontrunner for the award), but it has action, humor, excellent design work and a stellar cast that includes Dustin Hoffman, Jack Black and Angelina Jolie, among others. It's a visual masterpiece and the best cartoon movie I've seen from Dreamworks so far, a come-from-behind underdog story that pits a fat panda against a ferocious tiger. (Guess who wins.) Kung Fu Panda is the Dragon Warrior of martial-arts spoofs. Rating: 4/5.

1/29/09: The Wrestler (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
Randy "The Ram" Robinson (Mickey Rourke) is pretty much what you'd expect a 1980s WWF hero look like 30 years after his peak, his body ravaged by too many years of facebusters, backbreakers and chokeslams. Add in the myriad steroids, painkillers and various destructive elements—one competitor uses an actual staple gun on Randy—and it's little wonder that his ticker is waving the white flag of surrender. The Wrestler is ostensibly a sports movie (if you want to call wrestling a sport), but it's mostly about his attempts to bond with two women: a stripper named Cassidy (Marisa Tomei), and his estranged daughter Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood), each with marginal success.

I'm either getting more squeamish with age, or movies are becoming significantly more intense and graphic. I don't remember ever needing to look away from a movie in my life, but in the last year or so, I find myself unable to stare directly at the screen. The Wrestler is loaded with unsightly and unsavory images: Randy vomits on the floor, he gets punched, bodyslammed, sliced with a razor blade, butchered by a deli slicer...and then there's that staple gun. His body is a roadmap of scars and bruises, and that's before his open-heart surgery. I'm pretty sure I groaned out loud at least twice. But the potent imagery is worth braving for the intriguing character study. Rourke's nominated for a Best Actor statue, and Tomei's got a Best Supporting Actress nod. And I try never to miss the always engaging Evan Rachel Wood (so good in TV's Once and Again and the movie Thirteen). As Randy the Ram, Rourke is hard to look at, and impossible not to watch. He's a well-meaning fuckup, a broken wrestler who's past his prime but can't get the damn sport—to say nothing of his former glory—out of his system. The film kept me interested all the way through to its sad but logical conclusion. Rating: 4/5.

1/28/09: Frozen River (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
Ray Eddy (Melissa Leo) is a woman with a low-paying part-time job and two sons to feed in their ramshackle trailer in upstate New York. Her drug-addict husband has just skipped town, and the very real threats of repossession and eviction are closing in. But when Ray meets Lila (Misty Upham), a young Mohawk with a baby of her own, they forge an uneasy bond to earn some cash, and we learn just how far each woman is willing to go to stave off poverty. Frozen River is a bleak, slow-moving but ultimately rewarding picture ab0ut maternal love—the sacrifices, risks and compromises Ray and Lila face for their kids. It's an emotionally draining story that doesn't shy away from asking tough questions. Set in the dead of winter, the film is masterful at tugging at your heart while making you feel numbingly cold. Rating: 5/5.

1/27/09: The Visitor (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
Writer-director Thomas McCarthy crafted this extraordinary picture about a professor whose life intersects with a pair of illegal immigrants in New York City. Richard Jenkins (the dad from Six Feet Under) won a Best Actor nomination for his role as Walter Vale, an aging teacher who learns, in a few short weeks, a great deal about friendship, loyalty, love, and how to play djembe drums. Israeli actress Hiam Abbass shows up at the halfway point to make it a four-character drama that examines, among other things, the nature of xenophobia, the power of human kindness and the devastation of loss and regret. There are unexpected moments of humor sprinkled throughout in McCarthy's rich script, and the cast (especially Abbass) does a remarkable job. Very deeply felt, by which I mean I had tears in my eyes during a couple of scenes. As Oscar week and the first month of my year-long movie marathon draw to a close, I am left hoping there are many more movies as good as this one on the horizon. Rating: 5/5.

1/26/09: Revolutionary Road (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
This is the third film I've seen in the few days that is essentially the story of family members arguing like the dickens through a haze of cigarette smoke. But it's the only one I found truly absorbing. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are uniformly excellent as a couple in the mid 1950s whose marriage is on the rocks after the birth of their two kids. It's about hope and disillusionment, love and infidelity, honesty and lies, and a final act of desperation that changes their lives forever. In the decade that has passed since American Beauty, director Sam Mendes has lost none of his power to provoke and intrigue. Unusually, the kids have virtually no screen time—I never got the sense that these people actually had any children, as they are more alluded to than actually seen. Also, the musical score (by Thomas Newman) sounded distractingly like another one of his soundtracks. But these are minor quibbles. This movie is worth seeing for the performances alone. Amazingly, it is actor Michael Shannon, playing a guy with psychological issues, who won the film's only major Oscar nomination (Best Supporting Actor); DiCaprio was unfairly snubbed. Zoe Kazan has a couple of nice scenes as a secretary Leo beds (we get a brief glimpse of her lovely breasts), and I was convinced that DiCaprio's boss was played by Jeff Daniels, but it turned out to be an actor named Jay O. Sanders. Rating: 4/5.

1/25/09: Rachel Getting Married (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
Forget the story: in Rachel Getting Married, it's all about the backstory. Middle sibling Kym (Anne Hathaway) is a substance abuser who caused the death of her little brother while high. She's been in and out of rehab, and now her highly dysfunctional family (including stepparents) are gathering on home turf for the interracial wedding of older sister Rachel (Rosemarie DeWitt). The film documents the day or two leading up to the big event, during which the spiteful sisters segue from snipping at each other to full-blown war—inconvenient timing, to say the least. It's all acted very convincingly, of course, and director Jonathan Demme's idea to film it all with a handheld camera (shakier even than in Cloverfield) is meant to give the viewer an uncomfortable sense of proximity. The technique is effective, inasmuch as I felt as uncomfortable as possible.

The intense scenes of awkwardness and nerve-frazzlng vitriol take us through two-thirds of the film, to the wedding, when it suddenly and inexplicably turns into a bush-league version of Woodstock, with more musical acts singing and jamming than at your average Lollapalooza concert. (There's even an extended Brazilian belly dance scene—for a moment I thought I'd nodded off and woke up during a different picture.) Hathaway's performance snared an Oscar nomination for Best Actress; with her bottle-colored hair and sad eyes—check out that cool poster!—her Kym suggests a grown-up version of Claire Danes' character from My So-Called Life, had Angela Chase discovered Pall Malls and Percocet. And I completely failed to recognize Debra Winger as the girls' biological mother. As the various family members blast epithets, dredge up old battles and slap each other in the face, the tears turn on like a faucet, all while father Bill Irwin struggles valiantly to keep the peace. Rachel Gets Married goes for the Olympic gold in making viewers squirm, and wins. Rating: 2/5.

1/24/09: The Reader (2008)

2008 OSCAR NOMINEES
The 2008 Academy Award nominations were announced last week, so in the interest of catching up with some of the year's better films I missed, I'll be turning my attention this week to current theatrical films that have been honored.

Warning: Contains spoilers. In 1958, 15-year-old Michael Berg (David Kross) begins an affair with Hanna Schmitz (Kate Winslet), a 36-year-old cable car ticket taker. It's a story of love and sexual awakening...but before you can say "pedophile," it turns out Hanna has other more troubling skeletons in her closet: seems she was a former guard at Auschwitz who sent more than a few Jews to the incinerator.

Never moving at a pace faster than leisurely, The Reader offers two main characters who behave somewhat too enigmatically for comfort. As the credits to this Oscar contender for Best Picture rose, Joan (my faithful movie companion) told me she had a peculiar disdain for movies and plays that make her want to "hit the characters over the head with a stick" for their illogical behavior, particularly poor communication skills. When Hanna goes on trial for war crimes, she chooses to risk a life sentence in prison rather than simply copping to being illiterate (which likely would have led to a substantially reduced sentence). Michael, possessing compelling evidence that might help Hanna, chooses to do nothing with it.

Still, Oscar loves old-age makeup, and Winslet is totally convincing as both a woman in her 30s and in her 60s; Ralph Fiennes, meanwhile, is called in to portray Kross's character as an adult. On the one hand, this period drama (which is told through a series of flashbacks) lacks genuine emotional punch, but the acting is first-rate, and the film does raise some interesting questions about the true nature of Hanna—do we scorn her for her Nazi past and possible child molestation, or should we feel sympathetic because she's a victim of circumstance? It's a conundrum that Michael obviously wrestles with as well, and there lies the movie's main point of discussion. Winslet and Kross are extraordinary, Lena Olin has an excellent scene near the end as a Holocaust survivor, and Vijessna Ferkic, in a small role, is a vision of beauty as Sophie, a classmate who briefly catches Kross's eye. The Reader captured five Oscar nominations, among them Best Director (Stephen Daldry), Best Actress (Winslet), Best Screenplay Adaptation (David Hare) and Best Picture. Rating: 3/5.

1/23/09: Divorce American Style (1967)

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Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Reynolds, Joe Flynn, Tom Bosley, Shelley Berman, Pat Collins...with that cast, you expect this late-Sixties flick to be full of whimsy and laughter. But hold your horses. This "comedy," devised by TV legend Norman Lear, doesn't inspire much laughter—it's actually meant to be more satirical than outright funny.

Dick and Debbie are a married couple with two boys and nothing much more in common anymore except their passive-aggressive behavior. The first quarter of the movie focuses almost exclusively on their bickering...but after they separate, they find that being apart doesn't hold much more appeal either. Complications ensue, and it all leads to a predictable punch line. Some scenes resonate with a satirical glow, and it's fun to see many '60s actors and other artifacts around, but the movie is clouded by the near-constant fog of cigarette smoke spewed forth by nearly all of the leads, which I frankly find disgusting. I didn't much enjoy this, but on reflection, I guess it must have been kind of groundbreaking in its day to tackle the subject of marriage in such a seriocomic manner, especially with this cast. Still, it's hard to believe the screenplay actually got an Oscar nod. Then-20-year-old Tim Matheson can be seen as Dick and Debbie's son. Rating: 2/5.

1/22/09: The Lost Weekend (1945)

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I suppose I reached for this multi-Oscar winner to cleanse myself after viewing yesterday's garbage. Although I find alcohol itself distasteful, for some reason I've always had a taste for alcoholism stories. (Two of my favorite books are Jack B. Weiner's The Morning After and Charles Webb's Booze.) So it was a cinch that I'd take to this movie like its protagonist takes to rye whiskey. Ray Milland is Don Birnam, a would-be novelist whose binges have begun to alarm his brother and girlfriend, who are encouraging him to stay on the wagon. But Birnam keeps boozing, and the movie shows us how quickly and horrifically he sinks to the bottom—in fact, at times it actually does resemble a horror movie.

The film version of Charles R. Jackson's acclaimed book is said to be the first honest depiction of the ravages of alcoholism, which Hollywood had previously treated as one big joke. The movie's in black and white, but Milland's self-hatred and pathos comes across in full color. I found it very entertaining, although the musical soundtrack at times is overly melodramatic. Jane Wyman (who was married to Ronald Reagan, her third of five husbands, at the time of this picture) is quite fetching. Rating: 4/5.

1/21/09: Because of the Cats (1973)

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Sociopathic rich kids form a "secret society" called the Ravens, then raid the houses of married couples, destroy all their belongings, and rape the wives. A detective, Inspector van der Valk (Bryan Marshall), quickly narrows down the suspect pool and spends the movie trying to prove their guilt. Based on a 1963 series novel by British crime writer Nicolas Freeling, this sounded like an absorbing and suspenseful idea for a thriller—or, at least, the source for a few cheap thrills. But despite graphic violence and liberal amounts of female nudity, Cats lures you into a catnap. Dutch director Fons Rademakers directly sloppily, barely managing to scrape together a few passable scenes. It's a horrendously made thriller made on a shoestring budget—the results are very dull and slow moving, and the musical score is inappropriately bombastic and intrusive. Worst of all, Marshall has absolutely zero appeal (maybe he needed some catnip). Best appreciated as an artifact from the early 1970s trash heap. Sylvia Kristel, who appears in a small role, filmed this only a year before her star turn as Emmanuelle. Rating: 1/5.

1/20/09: Semi-Tough (1977)

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Semi-Tough is one of four sports-related films from the 1970s that have been on my movie-queue list for quite some time. (I finally saw The Longest Yard over the Christmas break, so now all I've got left are Slap Shot and North Dallas Forty.)

This movie is openly scorned by fans of Dan Jenkins' comic novel about drinkin', smokin', cussin', screwin'...oh yeah, and playing football. By all accounts, the book is riotous affair, loaded with sex, racial slurs and all manner of hilariously inappropriate content. Clearly, something has been lost in the translation to film, which is largely about the relationship between Miami gridiron heroes Burt Reynolds and Kris Kristofferson, and the team owner's daughter, Jill Clayburgh. Aside from suffering from a case of Tourette's Syndrome (someone, usually Clayburgh, has to say "fuck" or "asshole" every couple of minutes), the movie is rather tame by today's standards. The three leads start out as close Platonic friends/roommates, a la Three's Company, but when Clayburgh and Kristofferson pair off, Reynolds does a slow burn that lasts all the way through to the predictable payoff. I would have been fine with a simple love-triangle flick with a football backdrop, but the filmmakers decided to add a subplot satirizing the EST movement of the Seventies, as well as a depiction of rolfing—the first of which seems ridiculously out of place in this film, and neither of which would make the slightest bit sense today to anybody under the age of, say 45.

There's a very decent movie buried here somewhere. I enjoyed the chemistry between the leads; Burt Reynolds (doing another football flick three years after Longest Yard) is at his cowboy-hat-wearing, gum-chewing best, and Jill Clayburgh is surprisingly sexy—I've never had that reaction to this actress before. And there are several scenes I thought played very well, along with a few memorable lines. However, all of the actors were right around 40 years old at the time, which strikes me as a little long in the tooth to be NFL players, and the various parts of the film don't really mesh as a whole. There should have been a lot more football in the movie, more of the great Robert Preston (as the slightly batty team owner) and none of the material involving Bert Convy as a self-help guru, which I found embarrassingly unfunny. (Note: turns out I had seen some of those scenes on TV many years ago, but had no idea it was this film.) Character actress Mary Jo Catlett has a memorable bit as a less-than-stunning barfly seduced by Reynolds, and it was funny to see Brian Dennehy in his relatively younger days (i.e., almost 40). Also, it's worth noting that Reynolds uses the word "nigger"—tellingly, another white character throws the same word around in director Michael Ritchie's previous movie, The Bad News Bears. That kind of talk wouldn't fly with moviegoers today. Flawed but sporadically fun; I doubt I am the first one to suggest a better title for this would be Semi-Entertaining. Rating: 3/5.