February 2012

Between a visit from my friend Fiona from China, a weekend jaunt to Palo Alto, a trip to the Miami International Boat Show and a Caribbean cruise on the NCL Epic, it was a challenge to devote any time to watching movies. I did manage to squeeze in two first-run features and a bunch of random titles on my iPad; in addition, Anna and I did a double-feature of movies I had previously seen—Hugo and The Artist, both nominees for the Best Oscar statue being given out that very night. It was my first time seeing Hugo in 3D, and I enjoyed it even more the second time around. Here's what I watched in February:

FIRST RUN


CHRONICLE (2012)—This is the latest "found footage" thriller, following in the footsteps of The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity and, most recently, Apollo 18. (I've seen every one of them.) Chronicle is more of a sci-fi adventure than a horror movie, and much of it is both stunning and thorougly engrossing. Three high-school kids mysteriously gain various superpowers, but this is no superhero story—the movie is more about how the kids use their newfound powers the way real kids would, which in the case of one of them, leads to some very Bad Behavior. It's a great ride until the last 20 minutes or so, when it goes completely off the rails with a lot of bombast and wreckage—and the idea that the characters are constantly filming the action becomes increasingly distracting. I think the film would have been far more effective had it used the "found footage" gimmick more sparingly, or not at all. Still, there are some unforgettable scenes, including one where Andrew (Dane DeHaan) destroys a spider (a subtle comment on the Spiderman film series?). (8)


WANDERLUST (2012)—This is one of those fish-out-of-water stories where ordinary "civilized" people find themselves being integrated into a commune enviornment—a throwback to the Peter Sellers film I Love You, Alice B. Toklas. In this one, a married couple played by Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, having suffered a number of professional setbacks, join a group of wacky hippie types and realize the benefits of self-sufficiency and "free love." It's a consistently funny movie marred only by an overabundance of gross-out humor and one ridiculously stupid scene involving Rudd's bizarre inability to consummate an affair with super-hot Malin Akerman. Otherwise, writer/director David Wain keeps the laughs coming at a brisk pace, and Alan Alda steals virtually every scene he's in. It's also worth seeing for sexy Lauren Ambrose, who has become increasingly more beautiful since her days in the cast of Six Feet Under. (8)

OLDER MOVIES



DEATH AT A FUNERAL (2007)—Remade with a nearly all-black cast only three years after its release, this is the original British black comedy involving the farcical events surrounding the funeral of a businessman when his family discovers his deep, dark secret. A largely unknown cast keeps things moving in suitably hilarious fashion. (9)


BREAKDOWN (1997)—Driving through the desert in an SUV with his wife, Kurt Russell manages to piss off some ornery locals. Then his car breaks down, and the next thing you know, his wife has vanished and nobody seems to want to help him. Breakdown is a gripping thriller, full of relentless suspense and a satifying payoff. A second cousin to an old favorite TV movie, Dying Room Only, starring Cloris Leachman. (9)


APPOINTMENT WITH VENUS (1951)—As a fan of British actress Glynis Johns (having previously screened her films Encore, Personal Affair, Court Jester and Josephine and Men), I treated myself to a Glynis double-feature this month. We start with what must surely be the gentlest Nazi movie ever made, as David Niven joins forces with Glynis to rescue a prize cow from one of the Channel Islands after it is invaded and occupied by the Germans during WWII. There's not a lot to this picture (known in the U.S. as Island Rescue), but Glynis is always worth watching. (7)


ALL MINE TO GIVE (1957)—Scottish immigrants Glynis and Cameron Mitchell move to Wisconsin in the 1850s, find work, have a bunch of kids and face a variety of challenges out in the wilderness (most notably typhoid). The film strikes a nice balance between drama, comedy and sentimentality. Fun to see Alan Hale Jr. several years before his role as the Skipper on Gilligan's Island. (8)


DISAPPEARANCE (2002)—Hoping for some of that same Breakdown suspense, I turned to this TV film featuring two of my favorite stars from L.A. Law, Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey, who also find themselves in hot water driving through the desert and breaking down in the middle of nowhere. Although there are a number of creepy scares, the plot turns a bit supernaturnal, and the viewer is left with more questions than answers by the end of this Twlight Zone-ish outing. (6)


KEEPING MUM (2005)—Hoping for some of that same delicious British black humor of Death at a Funeral, I turned to this Rowan Atkinson comedy (he of Mr. Bean and Black Adder), in which he plays a pastor whose unsatisfied wife (Kristin Scott Thomas) has an affair with American Patrick Swayze...just as housekeeper Maggie Smith arrives on the scene to shake things up. And boy, does she ever! A delightfully naughty confection, in which Atkinson reins in his usual manic on-screen personality, to great effect. (9)

January 2012

Overall, January was a pretty slipshod movie month for me—not one of the 14 pictures I saw were truly extraordinary. I suppose that's to be expected, as this time of the year is generally considered to be the doldrums when it comes to film releases. Here's a rundown on what I saw.

FIRST-RUN


MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE—GHOST PROTOCOL (2011)—I endured the original in the new franchise, but none of the sequels. I am hopelessly confused by any and all spy and secret-agent stories (including the original Mission: Impossible TV series), so I try to avoid them. But great reviews attracted me to this adventure, which is jam-packed with suspense and impressive stunt work. The actual story evaporated from my mind almost as soon as I paid for the parking. (7)


CONTRABAND (2012)—Here's one of my classic "accidental movie" stories. I intended to see Joyful Noise (already gone from theaters as of this writing), but apparently I got the movie times wrong and the only thing playing within the hour was this Mark Wahlberg vehicle. So I sucked it up and paid for a ticket, figuring that my low expectations might yield in something entertaining. And sure enough, I wasn't terribly disappointed. Wahlberg plays a former smuggler who's forced to do "one last job" to get some crime-lord heat off of his ne'er-do-well brother-in-law. Kate Beckinsale is mediocre at best in the thankless role of Wahlberg's wife, but Giovanni Ribisi is extremely effective as a scary bad guy. (8)


ALBERT NOBBS (2011)—The somewhat less than ravishing Glenn Close is the ideal actress to portray a woman disguised as a male hotel butler—a role she originated onstage decades ago. Unfortunately, there's very little story here, and the film contains scene after excruciating scene in which nothing of interest actually happens. One of the dullest movies I've seen in recent memory—at the closing credits, Joan and I were practically petrified with boredom. (3)


THE GREY (2012)—While this is not destined to win any Oscars, at least it wasn't boring! This year's Liam Neeson action thriller finds him one of a handful of survivors in an Alaskan plane crash; together they must brave the relentless blizzard and a seemingly inexhaustible supply of ravenous killer wolves, against all odds. Basically, the film becomes And Then There Were None played out in the snow—there are some decent jump scenes and a reasonable amount of suspense. My only major problem was that you could never see fog on anybody's breath, which automatically demolishes my suspension of disbelief—it just reminds us that it's all so much phony snow. (8)

DVDs



AND SOON THE DARKNESS (1970)—Remade a couple of years ago, this is the original mystery-thriller that unfolds on the French countryside, where a couple of young women on a biking holiday run afoul of a serial killer. The film starts out entertainingly, introducing a male character who may or may not be behind one of the girls' mysterious disappearance, but the second half grows increasingly less suspenseful. (5)


FINIAN'S RAINBOW (1968)—Since I'm going to be seeing the stage version of this 1940s musical next month (starring my pal Jay Steele), I thought I'd check out the 141-minute feature film version, which stars Fred Astaire and Petula Clark. I have been listening to the original cast album for several weeks and really enjoying it, and knowing the score beforehand helped my enjoyment of the movie. It goes on a bit too long, but it's a charming romp with a strong anti-racist message. (8)


THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999)—Unlike Finian's Rainbow, this is not a musical. Amazingly, I missed this freak hit from—my God, was it really 13 years ago? This is the picture that kicked off the current "found footage" horror movie fad, and I must admit I was curious to check it out with the success of the Paranormal Activity franchise. It's a creepy, sometimes harrowing chiller, obviously largely improvised. (8)


THE HOUSE ON GREENAPPLE ROAD (1970)—I was a TV-movie addict back in the Seventies, and I loved so many of the cheesy thrillers they'd show (mostly on ABC) that I collect all the ones I missed and occasionally watch one out of pure nostalgia's sake. Unfortunately, I am rarely blown away when I catch one of the ones that "got away," and this is no exception. It's a totally by-the-numbers detective story about a missing mom (Janet Leigh) that plays like a TV pilot (which it was—it's a Quinn Martin production). (5)


ZODIAC (2007)—Unnecessarily long mystery about the real-life investigation of a serial killer whose identity has never been definitively established. The film is told from the point of view of a newspaper staff reporting about the string of killings in San Francisco; the actual murders are pretty scary, but the journalism angle left me feeling restless. (6)


A PERFECT WORLD (1993)—I'm a Clint Eastwood fan, and I'm trying to watch all the ones I've missed over the years. Clint isn't really the star of this, but he did direct it and has a strong supporting role as a cop who's on the trail of escaped convict Kevin Costner and the little boy he's kidnapped. The relationship Costner and the boy, who's desperate for a strong male role model in his life, is the selling point of this otherwise rambling drama. (6)


KEANE (2004)—Here's an indie flick whose unusual tale and gritty characters have continued to linger in my memory. Damian Lewis—so perfect as the star of Showtime's Homeland—plays the title character, an increasingly unglued man searching for the daughter who was abducted from New York City's Port Authority bus terminal. The semi-homeless Lewis, who spends a lot of time obsessing and muttering to himself, meets a down-on-her-luck woman (Amy Ryan) who has a small daughter, and it's their uneasy alliance that becomes the center of this small but unforgettable film—nothing about it is remotely Hollywood, from Lewis's unpleasantly incoherent monologues to the somewhat downbeat denouement. But I thoroughly enjoyed this involving thriller from writer-director Lodge Kerrigan. (8)


IMITATION OF LIFE (1959)—Ordinarily I enjoy soapers, and this remake of the 1934 film has plenty to go around. Lana Turner is a rising stage star who's raising a daughter, juggling various lovers and forging a friendship with her black maid, who herself is raising a troubled daughter. This is the kind of movie where the kids grow up before our eyes (played by several actresses, including Sandra Dee), but Turner and her cronies never age a day. Sadly, the movie never really clicked for me, although there are a number of decent scenes. (6)


GOSFORD PARK (2001)—Robert Altman's variation of an Agatha Christie drawing-room murder mystery is full of the Altman signature bits—dozens of characters, all reciting their overlapping and extraneous dialogue. The murder doesn't even happen until about 90 minutes into the movie, which gives us a fair amount of time to meet the myriad cast of characters, some of whom are interesting (i.e., Maggie Smith) and many whom are not. Scripted by Julian Fellowes, this period drama is not unlike the setup of his later extraordinaryTV series Downton Abbey, but not nearly as elegant, involving or witty (although both feature Maggie Smith and her deliciously poisonous barbs). (7)


I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING (1945)—I started watching this oldie a month or two or go, got sidetracked, and finally finished it up this month. Wendy Hiller—perhaps best known for playing Eliza Doolittle in the 1938 version of Pygmalion—stars as a woman travelling from Manchester, England, to Scotland for a "marriage of convenience with a rich, middle-aged industrialst. But poor weather conditions trap her temporarily on the Isle of Mull, where she meets charming Roger Livesey...and for the first time in her life, Hiller suddenly has no idea where she's really going. This might have been more effective as a short story than a full-length feature, but it has some nice moments, including 12-year-old Petula Clark in a small role. (8)


THE WORLD OF HENRY ORIENT (1964)—This was a recommendation from my dear friend Merf, although it's been on my radar for many years. It's the story of two high-school girls, one of whom, Val (Tippy Walker), is a bit troubled and develops a crush on a pianist played by Peter Sellers. When the focus is on the girls' coming of age, the movie is delightful, but when Sellers is onscreen, it devolves into less-interesting slapstick. Despite the title, Sellers' Henry character isn't the star of the movie; although Sellers can be devastatingly funny as Inspector Clouseau, his manic presence here works against what is otherwise a delightful and charming film. Hypocritical Angela Lansbury and kind Tom Bosley are perfect as Val's largely absentee parents, and Merrie Spaeth is quite good as Val's partner in crime. Val and her eventual maturation reminded me a bit of Hayley Mills' character in the excellent Chalk Garden, released the same year as this. (Mills was offered a role in this movie, but eventually turned it down.) (8)

My Most Anticipated Films of 2012

This is the third consecutive year I've written about upcoming movies that I'm excited to see in the ensuing months. Looking back at my last two such notes, it's a tad embarrassing to see the garbage (I'm pronouncing that "gar-bozh") I put on my lists—reviews were so bad on many that I didn't even consider seeing them. (From 2010's list: Edge of Darkness, Valentine's Day, The Losers and The Last Song; 2011's list included Sanctum, Battle: Los Angeles, and The Thing.) Even some of those I did see in 2011 were enormously disappointing—Sucker Punch, Cowboys and Aliens, Human Centipede 2, for example. In fact, only two of the movies from last year's list ended up being among my favorites of the year: The Descendants and Midnight in Paris. Indeed, I've learned that many of the movies that turned out to be my very favorites are ones that I didn't even know about when the year began. Thus, it would be the height of folly for me to expect anything different from the list below. Still, it's fun to look back in a year's time and shake my head sadly at the kind of drivel I was once actually looking forward to.

The following 12 months promise great drama, suspense, terror and comedy, but what it has the most of is sequels, prequels and reboots. (It's also got two movies about Snow White and two radically different takes on the life of Abraham Lincoln.) I'm not against sequels—indeed, I'm quite looking forward to the latest upcoming chapters of Piranha, Paranormal Activity, Taken and Ridley Scott's Alien prequel—but since I've never been a fanatic of superheroes, spies, fantasy and video-game adaptations, a huge chunk of 2012's fare may be automatically dispensed with. It's a long list that includes The Dark Knight Rises, Scary Movie 5, The Hobbit, The Amazing Spider-Man, Skyfall (James Bond), American Reunion (American Pie 4), Wrath of the Titans, Bourne Legacy, Men in Black III and Expendables II. Sequels with colons are more popular than ever these days, too...consider Underworld: Awakening, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Resident Evil: Retribution, Ice Age: Continental Drift, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. That's a hell of a lot of colons, if you ask me.

While I realize that very few of the following are destined to become 2013 Oscar nominees, here are my 20 most anticipated films of the year ahead:


THE GREY—I'd never have guessed Liam Neeson would become my favorite action film star, but he's so entertaining in Taken and Unknown that I actually prefer watching him in a vengeful frenzy than in dramas like The Other Man and Chloe. This survival-in-the-snow thriller is due on Jan. 27. UPDATE: Saw the film on Jan. 30 and will be awarding it an (8) in my blog.


CHRONICLE—Here's the latest "found footage" horror movie, about some high-school kids who discover they have superpowers...but it begins to feed the darker sides of their souls. (Feb. 3)


THE WOMAN IN BLACK—Susan Hill's supernatural novel has been turned into a hit play as well as a TV-movie; now Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe is starring in a big-budget feature. (Feb. 3)


SAFE HOUSE—Denzel Washington a CIA crime drama. The Denz is back! This time, he's got Ryan Reynolds as a co-star; seems like this will be a variation of The Defiant Ones. (Feb. 10)


THE VOW—I make no apologies for wanting to see this corny chick flick about a woman with amnesia. I enjoy that sort of drivel! With Rachel McAdams (who starred in The Notebook, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel) and Channing Tatum (who starred in Dear John, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel), it's not difficult to see that the target audience is lovers of romantic dramas. Co-starring Sam Neill. (Feb. 10)


THE HUNGER GAMES—Now that the Harry Potter series is over and the Twilight installments come to a close this year, Suzanne Collins is poised to become the next female author with an immensely popular series of novels that has spawned a major film franchise. This is undisputedly the most anticipated movie of 2012. (March 23)


THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY—I like a good kidnapping and revenge story (i.e., Taken), and this Henry Cavill / Bruce Willis movie seems like it might be a good take on the genre. (April 6)


THE CABIN IN THE WOODS—This horror movie was on my list last year, but its release date was pushed back. I still want to see it, mostly because Joss Whedon wrote and produced; it has the potential to be more than the usual haunted-house movie. (April 13)


MOVIE 43—The portmanteau—an omnibus film comprising several different stories—used to be much more prevalent in days of yore, but pictures like Love Actually have evidently repopularized the idea (even Woody Allen's next movie is a portmanteau). One hopes that Movie 43, which features an all-star cast that includes Hugh Jackman, Elizabeth Banks, Emma Stone, Kate Winslet, Gerard Butler, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts and Richard Gere, will be better than the recent Garry Marshall crapfests (Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve) that have sullying movie screens of late. (April 13)


THE LUCKY ONE—Unlike The Vow, which is merely trying to appear like a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, this one really is. From the looks of the trailer, this looks every bit as formulaic and sentimental as all the others, but I can dig it. (April 20)


SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD—Steve Carell and Keira Knightley in an end-of-the-world comedy with a rather unweildy title. He's hilarious, she's beautiful...what could possibly go wrong? (April 20)


THE AVENGERS—I am not a big fan of superheroes or TV shows restyled for the big screen, but when Joss Whedon is writing and directing, all you have to do is hand me a pen, and I'm signed up for the ride. (May 4)


THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL—Another title I'll be wrestling to remember. This one features a British dream cast, including Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton (from TV's The Norman Conquests). If the movie is half as good as its trailer, I'll be delighted! (May 4)


PROMETHEUS—Ridley Scott's return to outer space (supposedly a prequel to Alien) has all the earmarks of being a sci-fi summer blockbuster...throw in Charlize Theron, and I'll be buying advance tickets! (June 8)


BRAVE—This year's Pixar/Disney animated offering appeals to me far more than 2011's Cars 2 (which grossed half as much as 2010's Toy Story 3). If anybody can make me care about a kingdom-based, fairy-tale fantasy adventure, it's Pixar and Disney. (June 22)


PREMIUM RUSH—Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a bicycle messenger with a very important delivery that evidently gets him in very hot water in this fast-paced action thriller. It has a great trailer and features beautiful Jamie Chung. (Aug. 24)


TAKEN 2—Liam Neeson is back as Bryan Mills in this sequel to the kidnapping thriller. Supposedly he's the hostage this time out. (Oct. 5)


NERO FIDDLED—Filming in Spain this time, here's Woody Allen's follow-up to his biggest all-time hit, Midnight in Paris. And it's his first "omnibus" film since the 40-year-old Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (I'm not counting New York Stories). He's pulled together a typically impressive cast: Ellen Page, Jesse Eisenberg, Alec Baldwin, Greta Gerwig, Penélope Cruz, Judy Davis, Roberto Benigni...and, acting in one of his own films since 2006's Scoop, the director himself. (Oct. 19)


LES MISERABLES—Victor Hugo's classic novel was turned into a phenomenally successful stage musical by composer Claude-Michel Schönberg and lyricists Alain Boublil and Jean-Marc Natel; it remains the only musical I've seen three times on Broadway. When one of my other all-time favorite musicals, Sweeney Todd, was brought the the screen in 2007, the results were excellent; I'm hoping they do a similarly smooth job this time out as well. (Dec. 7)


DJANGO UNCHAINED—Two words: Quentin Tarantino. His newest directorial effort automatically qualifies this to be one of the year's most eagerly awaited movies; the fact that it's a revenge-themed spaghetti Western-type flm only adds fuel to the fire. (Dec. 25)

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ALSO ON MY RADAR....Here are a bunch others I've got my eye on. I'm not exactly breathless with anticipation on any of the following, but each interests me...for one reason or another.

THE DIVIDE—Huddled together in a basement, the survivors of a nuclear blast start to get on each other's nerves...This has all the makings of a post-apocalyptic nightmare, but whether that's good or bad remains to be seen. (Jan. 13)

JOYFUL NOISE—This year's Queen Latifah comedy pairs her with Dolly Parton in a movie about a singing competition, but the main draw for me is off-the-charts beautiful Keke Palmer, a young black actress who melts my heart with her incredibly sexy smile. (Jan. 13)

HAYWIRE—Director Steven Soderbergh's follow-up to Contagion is another thriller, this time about a special-ops soldier who's double-crossed. (Jan. 20)

THE INKEEPERS—There's a haunted hotel, see, and...well, that's all I know. But the trailer looks good. Don't they all? (Feb. 3)

GONE—Amanda Seyfried as a former kidnap victim who plots to confront her abductor. Should have plenty of violence and terror! (Feb. 24)

THE LORAX—Another big-screen Dr. Seuss adaptation, coming on the heels of 2008's Horton Hears a Who! Like its predecessor, the TV version will probably prove to be the superior commodity, but the trailer does look appealing. (March 2)

BEING FLYNN—Robert DeNiro in a comedy-drama "based on a true story." (March 2)

THE THREE STOOGES—I am not a fan of the Stooges, and this will probably wind up being terrible...but for some reason, I like the idea of updating them. Also, I will follow Sofía Vergara to the ends of the Earth. Larry David has a cameo as well. This one is a real longshot, but hope springs eternal. (April 13)

SAFE—Action thriller about an agent (Jason Statham) who must rescue a 12-year-old Chinese girl from a dangerous New York gang. (April 27)

DARK SHADOWS—I run very hot and very cold on the Tim Burton collaborations with Johnny Depp; I loved Sweeney Todd and Corpse Bride, but others (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland) leave me feeling simply bewildered. I'm crossing my fingers that this will be one of the home runs. If not...Burton always has a remake of his own Frankenweenie coming out in October. One of them is bound to be a winner. (May 11)

MOONRISE KINGDOM—I'm not a Wes Anderson fan, but I rarely miss a Bill Murray film, and this one also has Bruce Willis. (May 16)

JACK THE GIANT KILLER—Presumably this will be an improvement on the cheesy 1962 fantasy about a giant and the guy charged with killing him. (June 15)

TED—Writer-director Seth MacFarlane (of Family Guy fame) has Mark Wahlberg as a guy whose teddy bear comes to life; Mila Kunis provides the eye candy. (July 13)

THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN—Disney comedy/fantasy about a couple who wish for a child...and magically get one. (Aug. 15)

PARANORMAN—An animated movie about a boy who battles supernatural elements could have a Corpse Bride appeal. (Aug. 17)

SINISTER—A supernatural thriller starring Ethan Hawke as a writer of true-crime novels. (Aug. 24)

7500—Supernatural forces threaten passengers in a jumbo jetliner. With delectable lovelies Amy Smart, Jamie Chung, Leslie Bibb and Nicky Whelan—I'd watch any one of them in virtually anything. (Aug. 31)

THE BIG WEDDING—Robert DeNiro and Diane Keaton play a divorced couple who pretend to be married for appearances at a wedding. With Robin Williams, Katherine Heigl, Susan Sarandon, Amanda Seyfried and Marc Blucas. (Oct. 19)

MY MOTHER'S CURSE—Seth Rogan is the inventor, and Barbra Streisand plays his mother in this road-trip comedy. (Nov. 2)

November/December 2011

It's the wee hours of 2012 as I type my final movie blog of the prior year. I missed November, owing to various work, vacation and television obligations (including a seven-night cruise to Mexico and watching the entirety of Downton Abbey's second season). So I'm including both November and December in this installment.

NOVEMBER MOVIES


MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE (2011)—I was suckered into seeing this by Miami Herald critic Rene Rodriguez, who praised the film's supposedly masterful ending. I had a different take, which was, "What ending?" The movie—about a young woman who escapes from a commune where women are brainwashed into being sexual slaves—ends abruptly with no real resolution. And while I can appreciate that this is the point, I wanted something a little more than "Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!" (7)


BUTTER (2012)—This is probably the first movie I've blogged about that was still unreleased by the time I got around to writing about it. I was invited to an advance screening of this one in Santa Monica in November, way before its official March 2012 debut. Full disclosure: Not only did I laugh out loud numerous times during this comedy, but a couple of the scenes were genuinely moving as well. That's why I'd like to be able to rate this wonderfully cast and superbly acted comedy a full-on "10." Unfortunately, too many illogical plot points prevented me from feeling fully satisfied by what should have been a home run in the spirit of Alexander Payne's Election, after which it clearly patterns itself. A savvy mix of outrageous, profane humor and tearful sentimentality, director Jim Field Smith's film is certainly the best movie ever made about the art of butter carving. In it, Ty Burrell (of TV's hit series Modern Family) is an Iowa-based champion sculptor who uses the titular dairy product; when political forces encourage him to bow out and give others a chance to win the blue ribbon, his power-obsessed wife (Jennifer Garner) blows a gasket and enters the competition herself to keep the family name on the trophy table. Enter Destiny (Yara Shahidi), a 10-year-old black foster child who discovers she's pretty darn good at butter carving herself, and takes on Garner. Here's where those pesky plot flaws start to rear their ugly heads. How does Garner learn this art practically overnight? Why is Burrell elbowed out of the running at all, when he clearly has no other serious competition? Worse yet: after Garner's character accuses Destiny of getting help from Hugh Jackman, why does anybody pay her any attention, when Destiny's solo handiwork was observed by an audience? I realize this is a comedy, but you've gotta have some logic or the house of cards just falls apart. Still, if you can somehow overlook some of the irritating and quite frankly lazy plot conceits, what's left is enjoyable enough, especially thanks to Olivia Wilde's over-the-top portrayal of a lunatic stripper, and newcomer Shahidi is a winning Destiny. Additionally, there are also humorous turns by familiar supporting players from comedy TV shows (Phyllis Smith of The Office, Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords). Thumbs up for some hilarious bloopers at the closing credits mark. (7)


LIKE CRAZY (2011)—An apprentice carpenter (Anton Yelchin) falls in love with a pretty British student (Felicity Jones) studying in the States. When their intense love affair (i.e., great sex) prompts her to overstay her visa, complications obviously ensue. The actors give it their college best (ha-ha), but the movie feels largely improvised, which I gather it was. It's hard to sympathize with these dumb-dumbs, who should have known the government wouldn't take kindly to her breaking the rules. The moral of the movie seems to be that love, no matter how strong it is at the beginning, is doomed to fade. Whoop-de-do. (7)


TOWER HEIST (2011)—A comedy caper starring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy as a couple of guys who try to swindle a fortune from a Bernie Madoff-like financier played by Alan Alda. Not bad, but should have been a lot funnier (and a little more plausible). Murphy's role fizzles way before the conclusion, but Gabourey Sidibe (Precious) does well in a smaller role. (7)


THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 (2011)—Penultimate installment in the vampire series created by Stephenie Meyer may be slightly better than its two predecessors, but it's still infinitely worse than the original film. Ally Sheedy lookalike Kristen Stewart finally marries vampire Robert Pattinson, and they honeymoon on a beautiful island that's very pretty to look at. Then she gets pregnant, and her unborn hybrid baby nearly kills her and (for reasons I couldn't completely understand) totally pisses off the wolf-men, who launch their own attack. I wasn't exactly bored, but there was rarely a time when I didn't wish I was watching the original Twilight. There's one truly magical moment when wolf-boy Jacob (Taylor Lautner) makes a mysterious connection with the baby Renesme, which will hopefully be elaborated upon in the series' final chapter, due next Christmas. (6)


ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (2011)—Some generations ago, Santa delivered toys on Christmas the traditional way, with the reindeers and the chimneys. But with the world population now in the billions, how can that possibly work? This animated entertainment purports to resolve the conundrum (an army of elves toil in front of computers and there's a big super-spaceship), but the film's explanation was, at least for me, more perplexing than the original question. But the wonky logic won't matter to kids—at least the kids I saw it with—and there's enough charm and action here to keep everybody interested. (7)


A DANGEROUS METHOD (2011)—A tremendously flat and dull film about Freud, Jung and a troubled female patient they first treat, then mentor. As the patient, Keira Knightley is a revelation—in the early part of the film, this striking beauty contorts her features in ways that are alarming and horrifying, and as we see her take control of her demons, she gives one of the year's best performances—too bad it's in one of the year's most boring films. (4)


JOSEPHINE AND MEN (1955)—The only archival movie I saw in November stars Glynis Johns as a woman who only seems to be attracted to men who need her. The moment they don't need her desperately, she completely loses interest. That doesn't sound like much of a plot, and it isn't, but the British-made Josephine sparkles with wit, good acting and deft direction. Co-starring Peter Finch, and directed by the legendary Roy Boulting. (8)

DECEMBER MOVIES


HUGO (2011)—Martin Scorsese directs a film for children about the importance of…film preservation? I found it to be a rather odd theme, but I guess that's what people like Scorsese care about. Based on the sort-of graphic novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, this amazingly photographed film introduces us to the title character, an orphan who lives behind the walls of a Paris train station and operates all of the building's clocks. As we learn about his backstory, he locks horns with a shopkeeper who turns out to be pioneer filmmaker Georges Méliès. Their relationship is the cornerstone of a movie that should be more interesting to adults than children. I saw the film in 2D, but am hoping to catch it again in 3D—by all accounts, it's a richer and more rewarding experience. (8)


TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY (2011) I've never enjoyed spy movies—I never know what's going on or who's double-crossing whom—but it is rare that I pass up an opportunity to see a VIP screening and hobnob with movie-industry folks. (Thanks to my friend Irene for constantly inviting me to these cool events!) Plus, it stars Gary Oldman, one of the best actors ever born. Unfortunately, this is spy a thriller with a plot so convoluted that I was practically catatonic with boredom trying to follow it. Forgive me, all you intellectuals, but in my private Hell, this is the only movie that's playing, forever. (1)


THE DESCENDANTS (2011) I don't make any secret about the fact that Alexander Payne is my favorite living director—I adore (and own) all of his previous efforts, from Citizen Ruth to Sideways, which are all loaded with drama, comedy, pathos and satire. The Descendants is a worthy addition to the Payne canon, even if it's not quite up to the level of quality of its predecessors. It's still a fascinating story, with a terrific lead performance by George Clooney as a Hawaiian attorney whose wife lies comatose in a hospital bed following a speedboat injury. Previously a neglectful husband and father, he pulls his family together while dealing with a startling revelation about his wife that comes to light after her accident. This is a movie that had me tearing up one second and laughing literally a moment later. This is easily one of the year's best films. Only debit: the movie never once lets you forget that it takes place in Hawaii, and beats us over the head with nonstop ukelele music. (9)


THE ARTIST (2011)—A dazzling and wordless triumph. In the late 1920s, silent films are about to become a thing of the past. But before talkies take over, George Valentin is everybody's favorite leading man. Aspiring actress Peppy Miller literally bumps into him, and her career starts to take off. The Artist tells both of their stories (as well as Valentin's adorable Jack Russell terrier), which seems far more compelling than what any of their respective movies are about. It's a wonderful surprise, with plenty of good old fashioned drama and romance; writer-director Michel Hazanavicius has taken something extremely old and turned it into the freshest film of the year. Like Hugo before it, it's a movie about movies, but this one has more heart and soul—and achieves it without color or spoken dialogue. Leading actress Bérénice Bejo is ravishing. The Artist is not to be missed. (10)


YOUNG ADULT (2011)—Juno writer Diablo Cody (retiming with director Jason Reitman) turns in another screenplay full of her trademark snark, but this one works only sporadically. Charlize Theron is perfect in the role of an attractive and single (but morally bankrupt) author of young-adult novels who abruptly decides to marry her high-school boyfriend, even though he's a happily married father of a baby girl. Arriving at her small hometown, she connects with an ex-classmate (comedian Patton Oswalt) she doesn't even remember. Will Theron succeed in stealing her ex-sweetie, or will her embarrassing and misguided plot backfire in her face? There are a few chuckles as the film shambles toward its inevitable conclusion, but constant movie companion Joan said it best: all the good parts were in the trailer. (7)


EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE (2011)—An extremely long and incredibly dull examination of a 10-year-old boy (Thomas Horn), devastated by the loss of his dad (Tom Hanks) on 9/11, and his odyssey to figure out the meaning of a strange key Hanks left behind. For me, the movie's main problem is that the boy—a social misfit who probably suffers from Aspergers Syndrome—isn't a fraction as likable as he should be in order for the audience to care about him; he tends to shout at people a lot and keeps rattling an annoying tambourine. The film comes to life briefly when an elderly mute neighbor (Max Von Sydow) enters the picture, and for a time, we enjoy the two of them attempt to solve the mystery of the key. But as soon as Sydow checks out, so too do we. The film's editors chopped out a subplot involving James Gandolfini, whose entire part ended up on the cutting room floor. What a pity that another 30-45 minutes of this bloated film didn't go with him. The dishonest filmmakers first depict the boy's mother (Sandra Bullock) as napping and neglectful, but unconvincingly ask us to believe she's a saint by the end of the picture. (6)


WE BOUGHT A ZOO (2011)—My low expectations for this sentimental family film paid off in droves. Based on the true story of a widowed father of two children who buys a dilapidated zoo with plans to refurbish it, the movie is overly simplistic and one-dimensional, but director Cameron Crowe has his heart in the right place, and gives the film enough sparkle, humanity and animal jokes to balance the massive levels of corn. (The two leads, Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson, are two of our most attractive movie stars.) To my astonishment, I spilled more tears in this movie than practically any other in my life. We Bought Another Zoo, anybody? (9)


THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011)—I am one of the few who haven't read the Stieg Larsson or seen the original Swedish film adaptation, which turns out to be a huge plus for viewers of this remake. Director David Fincher (Seven) is at the top of his game, having assembled a great cast led by the titular Rooney Mara as Lisbeth, the punkish, bisexual misfit who teams with Daniel Craig to solve a mystery for Christopher Plummer's character. It's pure story from start to finish, absorbing, violent, surprising and satisfying in numerous ways. Astonishingly, at 158 minutes, the movie could stand to be even longer, as one of its few debits is that the last 20 minutes seems a little short-handed and rushed. I would buy a longer director's cut of this marvelous piece of entertainment. Mara turns in what is probably the year's best performance by an actress—she makes her character detached, dangerous, pitiable, fiercely intelligent and ultimately sympathetic. Unfortunately, the movie is apparently tanking at the box office. (10)


WAR HORSE (2011)—Steven Spielberg's latest "serious" effort starts off as an old-fashioned sentimental story of a boy and his horse; it becomes alternately gripping, violent and suspenseful—but also unforgivably bloated. The horse is conscripted to help soldiers on the front lines of WWI, and the animal flip-flops on both sides of the battleground during various hours of the film to make the following points: 1. The horse is wonderful and heroic; 2. Regardless of which side you're fighting on, you're still a human being; 3. War sucks for everybody. At 2 hours and 40 minutes, the movie needs at least 40 minutes lopped out of it. There was enough here to keep me entertained, but its excruciating length is a major liability—when the horse isn't at the center of the story, the movie suffers. (7)


PUSS IN BOOTS (2011)—Entertaining and worthy Shrek spinoff focuses on the swashbuckling kitty, who joins forces with Humpty Dumpty and a female feline voiced by Salma Hayek. Lots of motion, humor and Spanish music, with a cool redemption subplot; it's mostly for kids, but it'll keep the adults entertained. I love how the poster plays with a popular cinematic cliché of a protagonist calmly walking away from an explosion! (8)


JANE EYRE (2011)—I have neither read Charlotte Bronte's classic novel nor seen any of the countless film or TV adaptations; this newest version is my first encounter with Jane. To my surprise, it seems more Dickensian than Austenian as a story (innocent youngster endures various hardships and runs afoul of evil, tortuous and cantankerous souls as he/she barrels toward adulthood). In the title role, Mia Wasikowska is picture-perfect as the not-especially-attractive Jane, yet somehow exuding a spiritual beauty and winning our hearts with her morality and ability to love. It's got me curious to check out other film and TV versions. Interestingly, I had intended my final film of 2011 to be Shame, starring Michael Fassbender (so coldly aloof as Carl Jung in this year's A Dangerous Method), but it was so relentlessly dull that I didn't make it past the first 45 minutes. Yet here is Fassbender again, turning in a fine performance as Jane's love interest, Rochester. (8)


MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2011

The Artist
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
The Descendants
Crazy Stupid Love
Moneyball
Real Steel
Midnight in Paris
Thor
Limitless
Win Win
Rio
Life, Above All
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
One Day
Colombiana
Contagion
Bridesmaids


2011 MOVIES I'M SORRY I MISSED

The Muppets
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
A Separation
My Week With Marilyn
Hanna
The Debt
The Tree of Life
The Devil's Double
Straw Dogs
The Way

2011 MOVIES I'M SORRY I SAW

Sucker Punch (half)
Take Shelter
Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence

FAVORITE PAST MOVIES I SAW 2011

I don't really discuss TV series in this blog, but for posterity's sake, I should mention that this was the year I began burning through several different series, all of them still going strong as of this date: Dexter, Breaking Bad and Homeland, in that order. And yet I still found time to watch a fair amount of old movies, both on DVD and in the theater. Here were my favorites:

Barney's Version (2010)
Blind Corner (1963)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Cash on Demand (1961)
Country Strong (2010)
Cry Terror (1958)
The Fighter (2010)
Grand Hotel (1932)
The Great Escape (1963)
The Greengage Summer (1961)
The Holiday (2006)
Holiday Inn (1942)
Hud (1963)
Kind Lady (1951)
The Last Picture Show (1971)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
The Mark (1961)
Mister Roberts (1955)
A Night at the Opera (1933)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
The Philadelphia Story (1940)
Rabbit Hole (2010)
Shane (1953)
The Silent Partner (1978)
The Snorkel (1958)
Sophie's Choice (1982)
The Spirit of St. Louis (1957)
Super (2010)
Susan Slade (1961)
The Well (1951)