1. Feature story cliché:
"Look up charm / talent / innovator / luxury in the dictionary, and you will most certainly find a picture of Hugh Grant / the Metropolitan Opera / Robert Altman / the Hard Rock Hotel."
2. Another feature story cliché:
"In the event that you have been stranded on a desert island / trapped in a mineshaft / up in the Space Station / hiding in a cave for the last three years, ______ is the wildly popular punk-reggae sensation / motion picture heartthrob / song-and-dance impressario / software multi-billionaire."
3. TV courtroom cliché:
"Is my client being charged with a crime?"
"No."
"Then this conversation is over."
Friday, February 23, 2007
Legal Ease
Strolling down Collins Ave. in Miami this week, I passed the Fontainebleau Hotel, part of which is under construction. As I strolled past a fenced-in area, I read a sign upon which was written this awkwardly phrased legal disclaimer (in accordance with the Florida State #810.09[2][d]):
“This property is a designated construction site and anyone trespassing on this property upon conviction shall be guilty of a felony."
I was tempted to trespass merely to test the language of the law. If arrested, my defense would be that I was not trespassing on the property upon conviction. I was, in fact, completely free of any and all convictions at the time.
On the other hand, I would have avoided the site had the sign read: "anyone trespassing on this property shall be guilty of a felony if they are convicted." But to my way of thinking, the sign is redundant and should simply say: "This is a construction site. Trespassing is a felony."
Even if you interpret the sign the correct way, it still begs the question: What about those people who aren't convicted?
It's their story that fascinates us. It's theirs that endures.
“This property is a designated construction site and anyone trespassing on this property upon conviction shall be guilty of a felony."
I was tempted to trespass merely to test the language of the law. If arrested, my defense would be that I was not trespassing on the property upon conviction. I was, in fact, completely free of any and all convictions at the time.
On the other hand, I would have avoided the site had the sign read: "anyone trespassing on this property shall be guilty of a felony if they are convicted." But to my way of thinking, the sign is redundant and should simply say: "This is a construction site. Trespassing is a felony."
Even if you interpret the sign the correct way, it still begs the question: What about those people who aren't convicted?
It's their story that fascinates us. It's theirs that endures.
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