Thursday, February 09, 2006

Wondering

I don't mind doing favors for people. This automatically puts them in the position of owing me a favor, and trust me, I'm a big believer in payback.

Lately I've been been asked to do quite a lot of favors for people, and I find it hilarious that the word "wondering" is, without exception, one of the main ingredients of asking me do a favor.

"I was wondering if you could proofread my letter."

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me with this project."

"I was wondering if you might contribute to this charity."

Why can't they just say:

"Would you proofread this?"

"Can you help me?"

"Could you give me some money?"

Why can't the subject of the sentence be more about the favor itself, and less about the act of wondering? One of the main differences between the first clutch of sentences (the "wondering" ones) and my revisions is that the original ones avoid asking a question. Examine each of those opening salvos, and you'll notice that the speakers are merely making a statement—they're giving you some information about themselves, not actually asking you anything. It's really an act of cowardice. Grow some cajones. If you want something, don't sit there wondering. Just ask!

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